Eadie over at Atlantic Pacific (http://www.atlantic-pacific.blogspot.com/ ) tweeted about this lovely lovely website :) If you look through it daily if not weekly, surely it can help you not over-stress about the things going on right now and just be thankful for the things that can make you feel amazing whatever mood you were originally in. Today i have had a horrible morning and i am so thankful for my lovely boyfriend to call me to calm me down and help me and also my sister to help me too. Then after a long train journey sat on the floor squished up with my bags and suitcase, getting home and having a cuddle from my mum was comforting.
This website does help me smile. I've felt quite low lately for some reasons i understand and some I just can't put my finger on. And although my boyfriend is lovely and mostly understanding I still feel terrible for my emotional outbursts of tears every now and then.And it's not fair. I need to get a grip of these times and not get tearful from the slightest remark or thought anymore.I have to make the most of life and not worry, fuss and be afraid so much. It won't happen quickly I know, but still, I have very good people around me now and I know that now I am finally free from uni, I have to;
get a job,
save up for travels,lots of outings and special times with my boy,
organise my time smartly,
try to see my friends and family as much as i can,
learn a language if possible,
and then get out of England... Australia, Japan, Canada, China, some places in America.. EVERYWHERE!
...and soooo much more.. (maybe even get our own place..? :s oh Universe pleeease be nice to us, please oh please oh please...we don't deserve anymore sadness)
But yes i am recommending this website because it is sweet and simple* :)
Be happy people. Take care.
*...just like life isn't . But maybe one day *smile*
So this is generally what i look like at the moment... all the time. I'm very behind on my dissertation writing(so i probably shouldn't really be writing this either, but procrastinating from writing with writing has got to be a helpful form of procrastination right?) and it is my fault for not being on top of it all, keeping(getting) organised and regularly seeing my tutors for meetings and help/advice.But tbh i'm quite scared of them. lol. I'm pretty much fed up of university, and have been for such a long time now that it's surprising im still here. The only thing im gonna miss is the friends and location... oh how i will miss my friends.. :( But the thing is University is definately not how i imagined it to be. Maybe i needed to be in America/a movie/a disney film for university to be how i imagined it... In all honesty this is what i imagined uni to include:
- Learn how to write well - I've never been able to produce a good piece of work (unless it was creative writing haha) and i thought i would really get into being taught here at uni, but its about putting effort in, to go see the tutors etc. I need to work on that DAMN HARD. otherwise my dissertation will just,well, die.haha.
- Have lots of lectures that everyone says 'oh borrre' to (but i secretly love, i feel like im finding out things in a different way to how i've ever been taught before) They started off being very general in first year, but i still enjoyed them, but they slowly died down.. to now, none.
- Talented teachers who make you excited about getting into this career once university is all over..and learning about things that you couldn't've found out anywhere else! well, without harrrd research and searching,but who wants to do that? lol Hmm.. nope.my tutors at times have inspired me, but i really don't think im getting as much out of them as they are being paid for. Yes partly (probably majorly) my fault. But still.. :-/
- Regular 'study sessions' where a huge group of us would get together either in the library or lay out in the park(or meet at each others houses when it was cold/dark) and work together on recent projects, helping each other keep on top of the workload and uplifting each others spirits and taking breaks for hot chocolate and marshmallows. (Don't get me wrong i have lovely friends, but most communication is through facebook/txts because of the sheer workload and other commitments, dunno what id do without their help a lot of the time tbh,because of this course)
- To find out and learn about other peoples thoughts and views on life and the world around us. To hear about peoples life experiences.. and go on adventures together to 'get away from uni for a while' and go venture into nearby villages/towns and find out local open mic nights/comedy nights.. (of which i havn't managed to find yet..not that ive really made it a huge priority..because,u guessed it!,my work load.)
- Actually get INVOLVED with the university-become a member of many societies and do volunteer work and set up organisations to raise money for charities and to make a difference in the university, (and possibly the world!!) I tried to join a few societies at the beginning but due to my very poorliness at the beginning few months of first year and then my gradual workload increase, i could not keep at it and am no longer part of anything.
- Having sleepovers and sharing food/making meals and cakes together and making cleaning/tidying rotas for the kitchen, living with friends etc, decorating my room all pretty! (since moving out of student accomodation i have had a tiny room,barely been able to work very well in and had mould and damp in for the majority of my time here.. but that settled down a little. I am used to it now, it just sucks that i pay the same amount for it as my housemates who all (except one..) have rooms two or three times the size of mine.grr :p
I just thought that all these interesting and exciting things could happen and that i would learn so many interesting things from university! There has been so much dissappointment.I mean i love my friends and met my faabulous boyfriend here and when i see them it is great! but you can tell that so many of us are just so worn-down from work, its so sad to see. I never thought of 'University' or 'Students' to be a negative thing, and always thought that the stereotypes of messy and irresponsible and drunken students was just a complete exaggeration. But there are some insanely disgusting people walking around. Maybe it's because i've never lived in a city before (granted Lincoln isn't a huge city,but its way bigger than anywhere i've lived before!) so i don't know what people act like in the city. But man, some people are scandalous! (okay im aware i probably sound a right snob/prude but i don't care lol) :p
In first year i thought "yes,nobody knows what i really act like,what upsets/scares me etc,this is my chance to try to shine and make people proud! be whoever i want" (not in a scary different way nooo!! but to tweak and change little things about me to make me more confident or hardworking etc.) I wanted to show myself being far more confident and organised than i was,and not so 'random' and 'strange' and 'disorganised' as my friends from home would say about me lol (in a nice way though) But that definately didn't last long. especially for being so poorly and on antibiotics and stuck in my room doing work the majority of the time.tiredness brings out the silly side of everyone sometimes lol. The people i lived with in first year are SPECTACULAR though and i wouldn't change them for the WORLD. they all live together now and i go visit them whenever i get a spare chance - Because their house number is '91' me and my boyfriend nicknamed them '91' as a collective group.And it kind of stuck :)
University has had its ups aswell, its just a shame it couldn't've been more about 'teaching' and 'learning amazing things' and for me to get more involved in university activities.. :(
The Loans arn't bad though :p hehe... im kiddiiing
(They're great..)
But yes all i want to do now,is spend time with friends family and my cuddly boyfriend (who has graduated and lives back home now so i miss him very much..) and i want to develop 'me'. Get fit, learn some hobbies, get a regular routine going, eat well, have adventures!, Live life for and with the people i love and care about.
Phewf sorry about the rant, ill probably read through this and be like, maaan im a lame-ass.. haha.
Natalie out. xx
Once we had finally (aka Mr Snow deciding to prove public transport lacks the ability to follow a timetabled schedule when faced with the slightest chill..) made our way to Edinburgh on the 22nd December, we'd checked into our fancy room at the new Travelodge (yes i say fancy in the same sentence as Travelodge, but trust me our room was huuuge with windows all around and SO much space <3) we settled in to begin our our mini adventure in Scotland together!
Just look how beautiful Edinburgh at Christmas time is :)
view of Edinburgh from the Ferris Wheel... such a Spiritually-Christmassy location
me and my beauuutiful man on the Ice Rink <3 (freeezing may i add! hehe)
the gorgeous snow dusted trees outside on the train home.. :) it was our very own Winter Wonderland! Such a lovely lovely trip.. xx
I just thought i'd share with you quickly this nice and interesting advert for such an incredible cause. Not a cure, but definately helpful,a huuge start :) it made me smile of all the little and not really 'long-term useful' thing you can buy for 40 cents.. Make you think, are you using your money as wisely as you thought? I know my finance plans for 2011 need to be BUDGETED,thats a fact.No more needless spending on food or stupid "ooooo thats sweet, i bet *such-an-such* would lovvve that" natalie moments... :( well, maybe a few... if the *such-an-such* person has been good and deserves it.. :p xx
I don't know about you,but this advert always gets me smiling and sometimes brings a tear to my eye. It's just so lovely how the singing and dancing brings people together and cheers everyone up. After a long plane journey,it must be such a wonderful surprise :) I wish i could gather together some friends and meet somebody at the airport (or anywhere!) with a song and dance!Trouble is, i don't really have the confidence to be loud and have everyone looking at me. I think i'd just end up trying to burst out in song, be really out of tune, turn the brightest of reds and then giggle and run away to hide..probably being knocked over somewhere in the process. So inevitably, just wasting peoples valuable travelling/chilling out time before or after their flight..and being thought of as 'the nutter who made some sort of wailing noise when at the airport..'
But yes, back to the initial reason for posting.This is a lovely advert :) Well Done T-mobile.
Earlier on today, i was feeling very lathargic and in a cba mood,but had my itunes playing on shuffle and 'Always' by Bon Jovi came on, and immediately it took me back to when me and my fella went to see Bon Jovi in concert back in June this year. Oh it was AMAZING. Best gig ever :) We didn't realise just how big,yet compact, the arena was! and our seats ended up being really rather close to the stage!We were like "woooo Bon Joviii, you tha maan!" and then thinking he could probably hear us haha.
But anyway,on our journey back home, i realised that he never played 'Always' (which is definately one of my favourites) and so, whilst on the platform waiting for one of the many trains/tubes back, i decided to sing it to my man :) and i turned to him and said "Oh no he never played Always! :( " going on to say.. "....this Romeo is bleeding... but you cant see his blood...(little actions to go with the words..) it's nothing but some feelings(holds chest).. that this old dog kicked uup..." and he smiled. Then i went on.. "it's been rainin' since you left me, now im drowning in the flo-o-o-od.." (mimicking drowning actions) he laughed and said "alright, yes..now shuush" But i went on "..see i've always been a fighter,(*puts up fists*) but without you, i give uuuup!!(dramatically putting hand to forehead and sighing)" At this point he was like "shhhh silly... :p" then i carried on really quietly and building up "now i can't sing a love song, like the way its meant to be....but i guess im not that good anymore,*sad face* but baby thats just meee!" (through this 'singing' he's trying to cover my mouth and going "hey shhh,ur so embarrassing")
"and IIIII will lovvveee youuuu, babbyyyy, aaallwaaays!" both constantly giggling now and getting such funny looks from those around us, but people must've genuinely been in a good mood cos they just left us be. He then cuddled me reeeal close and kissed me as it was the only way to shut me up.. :p then i quietly went "and iiiill be therrre foreeever and a daaay...aaallwaaays" hehe.
I was actually surprised at how i could've done that,with lots of people around.though they were all probably pre-occupied with their own things and talking about the show and thinking about getting home to the warmth lol.In any case, i was incredibly red by this time.. (and im probably exaggerating how loud i was being -to make myself look good haha)
Oh aand i know this sounds so terribly soppy and 'gay' as some would say, but i don't care lol.I loved that memory and will always cherish it. lol.. I just gotta reiterate.. What an AMAZING performance Bon Jovi can put on!!! man he's energetic and just does not stop! and Kid Rock supported him(i wasn't really a fan before,so i didn't really know what to expect) but then he really rocked the crowd and was a great performer!
Definately would do go see Bon Jovi again in concert,recommend it to anyone who is even the slightest of fans :) x
Hey there.. So, I don't really know how to begin to write a 'blog' so I thought I'd let you in on something that makes me smile every now and then. The heart shape.
For I don't know how many years I have noticed this shape all around in the world, wherever you go there they are. Everytime I see one I point it out to whomever I am with and they say things like "heyy so it is!you always find them.." "how did you even see that from here??" and so on.. I have secretly felt proud of it for quite some time..but shh.
So basically, I might end up putting them on here to show you that really, 'Love is all around' Okay, that sounds waaay cheesy, but hey I don't care.. I'm not the girliest of girls, and this is something that makes me feel well, girly. So here are some more examples of where i've seen them... (Hopefully ill keep on top of this blog and post more important/interesting things than this, but hey this is a kind of icebreaker I suppose..)
